We've heard it all before: “Can we meet for coffee? I'd like to pick your brain a bit.”
Let me translate that for you: “Can we meet? I was wondering if you would tell me a few of your business secrets for free. I won't even pay for the coffee.”
NO.
At first, these types of meeting requests were vague but intriguing. I was just getting started in my business, so I would always jump at the opportunity to meet with someone…perhaps I could nab them as a (low-paying) client. Hey, it's money, right?
Wrong.
What is “picking your brain”?
To “pick someone's brain” means to gather ideas or information from someone about a specific topic. Today more than ever I find this to be a red flag statement. If someone is asking me to tell them how to do something over coffee, it means that they value my knowledge…but not enough to pay for it. It's like calling up a wedding photographer and asking them to pick their brain about the best lens to use for shooting your friend's upcoming wedding…when you're an amateur. (Believe me, it happens!) We value the professional wedding photographer's skillset, we love the photography on their website, but since we have a camera we assume we can do it ourselves.
[tweetthis display_mode=”box”]Just because you have the equipment does not mean you have the skillset.[/tweetthis]
It's the same in business. Just because someone is successful in their business doesn't mean that you should ask them for all their secrets for free.
How to avoid the “pick your brain” meetings.
Don't be super quick to jump on the “I need money bandwagon” and accept every meeting request that comes across your inbox. I know from experience that this is difficult to do! But believe me–you don't want to set a precedence. If you do it once, people will assume you'll do it again and again. Worse yet, they will refer others to you for the exact same purpose. Remember: you can still be kind but firm!
Simply (always) ask what the meeting will be about.
The first thing I learned was to politely ask what the agenda is for the meeting. If anything, it will give you a clear indication of how long the meeting will last (and how much coffee you'll need to consume). Most importantly, you will learn what exactly it is that the other person wants. Do they want to “pick your brain”? Do they want to ask you to teach them how to do something? If it's either of those, that is the point where you need to explain how that would be a consultation and what your billable rate is. You can simply say that you don't train people over coffee–you take consultations seriously and would like a more intimate setting to conduct such meetings.
“Did you have an agenda for this meeting? I'd like to gauge what I should prepare for and how long we need to meet.”
Final thoughts.
If you're not accustomed to being firm with clients, this will be very difficult! But let me tell you from experience: you can be kind and firm. I've learned to just be honest…people will appreciate you more for your honesty. If they become angry that you want to charge for training them on your secrets…then they probably aren't worth your time anyway.
